Regret often shows up as a desire for a do-over. We replay the past: “I should have done this,” “If I knew then what I know now, things would be different.” These “could have, would have, should have” scenarios can run endlessly.
Sometimes there is real regret; sometimes just a wish to have acted differently. Either way, the mind stays stuck in what cannot be changed.
The Stoics offer a clear response: the past is not under our control, so we must let it go. Replaying alternate outcomes does not undo anything. It only keeps us from moving forward.
We can still learn from the past. A mistake can yield a principle. For example, when faced with choices, choose the path that does the most good. But learning is not the same as dwelling on the past.
If thoughts of “what could have been” arise, remind yourself: the past is not under my control. What matters is what I do now. We move forward by focusing on our present beliefs, actions, and attitudes. Life is not behind us. It is happening now. Be here now.
