“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he hears us: And if we know that he hear us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” ( 1 John 5:14-15).
Prayer is usually thought of as a petition addressed to God asking for his help and intervention. Oxford English Dictionary defines a petition as “an appeal or request, especially a solemn or humble one to a deity or a superior.” Yet, how many Christians will tell you that they pray and pray and yet nothing happens. Why is that?
In the above passage, we see that the key to answered prayer is to ask according to God’s will. Usually our problem is not knowing God’s will in the matter. In that case, our first step is for wisdom into God’s will (James 1:5). And even when we receive that answers to our prayers, they usually don’t get answered they way we expected. Pray for patience, and you will quickly learn what I mean.
But prayer is not just asking God for things. In fact, it is a small part of what prayer is. When I think of prayer, I usually don’t think of it asking. Rather, prayer is more like a sharing together. Yes, a dialog, but more than that. It is more of a listening, a silence, a flow. It is an openness. I do not pray to God to bend his will to mine. As C. S. Lewis wisely noted, “Prayer doesn’t change God, it changes me.” I don’t believe prayer changes God, rather I believe it changes us. Or it should, anyway.
There are four kinds of prayer, beyond petition, that are useful. They are affirmations, thanksgiving, adoration, and confession. Each one of these changes us, but in different ways. Let’s look at each briefly.
First, prayer is affirmation. Affirmations are short phrases that are repeated in order to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. It is about replacing prideful self-talk with humble self-talk. It is not about positive thinking, but realistic thinking.
Second, prayer is thanksgiving. Gratitude is an important quality for any spiritual seeker. We can express this gratitude towards God, or towards beings that brought us benefit. At meal time we can pray, “I thank all beings for this food, I receive it as medicine and eat it with mindfulness.”
Third, prayer is adoration. Worshiping God is about dying to self. The key to union with God is to empty yourself of I, me, and mine. God must increase, but I must decrease. There can be no selfish desire once there is no self left.
Fourth, prayer is confession. Confession is good for the soul. Confessing our selfish thoughts, words, and deeds helps break the habit of lying to ourselves. We are sinners. We fail and fall short of perfection. We need to own up to our mistakes, and confession is one way to do this. We don’t just need God’s forgiveness, we need to forgive ourselves and stop holding it against ourselves.
In all four cases, prayer does not change God, it changes us. God does not need our prayers, we need our prayers. Prayer opens us to the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Prayer is a means for spiritual transformation.