Category: Spirituality

Henri Nouwen wrote:

“In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me—naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken—nothing.

“It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something.”

I am a student of Gnosticism because I am a specialist in Christian mysticism. The Gnostics were among the first mystics.

This is important to remember, because later mystics had to distance themselves from the Gnostics in order to survive. And even now, telling you their secret, could cast the heresy label on them.

But the Gnostics were not heretics, they were lovers of God and seekers of union with God. It was the institutional church that went astray seeking power and control through their union with the Roman government. They rendered to Caesar what was God’s.

Or you can see it as a repeat of Israel’s reject of God as their King and the election of a human King (1 Sam. 8:7-8). The Roman Church replaced Jesus Christ as the Head of the Church with a human Pope as the Head of the Church (Eph 5:23).

But there are a bunch of different groups calling themselves Gnostic, and many varied beliefs. And modern scholarship is still confused about the whole subject of Gnostics and Gnosticism. It is just easier to call myself a Christian mystic.

I am a Christian mystic who follows the lead of the Apostles Paul, John, Thomas, Valentinus, and the Desert Fathers and Mothers. You can include all the Christian mystics, both East and West, since that time.

However, claiming that I am a Christian mystic sounds kind of like claiming I am a saint. It smacks of a lack of humility. But I have experienced the presence of God and seek union with God, so that makes me a mystic. I will say no more than that.

I find I have a malady of the mind. Call it regret or a desire for a do-over.

Here are the symptoms. I realize that my choices have limited my options and I think, I should have done such and such. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done such and such. Then I could have done such and such.

Sometimes there is regret, sometimes it is just a wish to do things differently. But the could of, would of, should of scenarios play on and on.

I know, as the Stoics would point out, the past is not under my control. And if it is not under my control, drop it. Let it go. These could of, would of, should of scenarios are a waste of time.

As I write this, I wonder if this is where belief in reincarnation gets some of its support. It would be nice to redo my life and correct my mistakes. I have made more than my share. Many of my mistakes have hurt other people. How can I not have regrets?

But the Stoics are right, of course. I can’t undo the past by running improvement scenarios in my head. I have to deal with the things I can control, like my current beliefs, actions, and attitudes. You can’t move forward, looking back.

Yes, we can learn lessons from the past. But this is different. You think of a past mistake and then draw out a lesson from it. For example, if you have two job offers, take the one that helps the most people. Don’t follow your passion, follow the path that produces the most good in the world.

So the next time could of, would of, should of scenarios play in your head, think to yourself, “The past is not under my control. I need to deal with what is not what could have been.”

Then learn from your mistakes and move on. Life is too short to live in the past. Life is happening now.

“It is easier not to speak a word at all, than not to speak more words than we should.” – Thomas a Kempis

I have found this true so often that I think it is something to be aware of.

We can get so carried away talking that our talk turns frivolous and even harmful.

We can wax elegant on how much we don’t like our job, a co-worker, or a family member. But how does such help others or ourselves?

“It is easier not to speak a word at all.” This may be true for some people, but there are many who would find silence unbearable. They just have to open their mouth.

I wish I could claim innocence. I remember recently talking to a friend and got carried away at correcting his misconception of a topic of discussion. I am afraid I gave off more heat than light.

I need to remember, “It is easier not to speak a word at all, than not to speak more words than we should.”

A Gnostic Christian approaches Scripture as myths, interprets Scripture allegorically, has mystic secrets reserved for the initiated, aims for salvation through mystical insight (gnosis), is open to new revelations from God, and follow Jesus as the Messiah, God, and Savior.

A Christian Mystic may or may not approach Scripture as myths and interprets Scripture allegorically. They usually do not have mystic secrets reserved for the initiated. The Christian Mystic does not aim for salvation through mystical insight, but seeks salvation through faith. The Christian Mystic also is not open to new revelations from God. But they do follow Jesus the Messiah, God, and Savior.

Mystics tend to follow church Creeds and obey the Church hierarchy. Although there are, of course, exceptions. The problem is the deeper you go into mysticism the closer you get to Gnosticism. And the closer you get to Gnosticism the further you get from the institutional Church.

Spiritually speaking, mystics and gnostics are brothers and sisters. It is an only outward conformity to established norms that they differ considerably. Mystics are occasionally ostracized as heretics, but Gnostics are always. This is because narcissism undermines the institutional church, and it’s authority and control.

I tend to be on the mystic side of the line. Doctrine is not that important to me, it is the experience of God that is central. The Gnostics were the first mystics. The Gnostics fled to the wilderness of the Alexandria desert, where they became known as the Desert Fathers and Mothers. They again appeared as the great mystics in the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Church.